Strengthening self-worth with PEP: How to connect with yourself

Why self-worth is our inner foundation – and how process and embodiment-focused psychology (PEP) can help us build it.

Self-worth – the inner conviction that we are valuable and sufficient – has a significant influence on how we live, love, make decisions and deal with challenges. It is not a superficial sense of self, but a silent foundation that shapes our inner attitude and navigates us through life. When we experience ourselves as lovable, capable and full of integrity, we act more clearly, relate more consciously and approach life with more confidence.

However, this access to ourselves is often blocked – by old imprints, critical thoughts, insecurities or a deep feeling of “not being enough”. We often don’t feel the source, but only the effects: Self-sabotage, comparison, withdrawal or striving for external validation.

Mindfulness and self-reflection help us to recognize such patterns – but how can they actually be resolved? This is precisely where process and embodiment-focused psychology (PEP) comes in. A method that addresses the mind, but also the deeper levels of body and emotion – where self-worth really arises and changes.

Self-worth – the connection to myself

Our relationship with ourselves is the foundation for everything in our lives: for our decisions, our well-being and our ability to deal with challenges. At the heart of this connection is self-worth.

A healthy self-esteem allows us to look at ourselves with goodwill – with everything that we are. But this is precisely what many people find difficult. Self-doubt, old imprints or unconscious inner blockages can prevent us from truly accepting ourselves. We then react not from our center, but from a feeling of lack – be it through over-adjustment, withdrawal or self-sabotage. Instead of courageously moving forward, we avoid challenges or wait to find validation on the outside.

The tricky thing about this is that it often goes unnoticed. We only feel the consequences, not the underlying causes. It is only through mindfulness and honest self-reflection that we recognize where we are standing in our own way – and begin to understand the attitude we actually have towards ourselves.

Questions such as:

• “Do I think I’m basically okay with myself?”
• “Do I (consciously or unconsciously) deprive others of the feeling of being okay?”
• “Do I expect rejection because I don’t really accept myself?”

…help to make our patterns visible.

This often becomes particularly clear in council: mindful listening and speaking creates a space in which we can meet ourselves more clearly – beyond judgment or defense. While we listen to others, something often emerges that otherwise remains hidden in everyday life: an awareness of our own attitude and what resonates within us.

Only when something becomes conscious can it be dealt with. And this is exactly where the path to a stronger self-esteem begins.

Self-worth as an inner immune system

A stable self-esteem acts like an inner immune system. It helps us to deal with insecurity, criticism and conflicts more calmly. People who see themselves as fundamentally “okay” don’t have to constantly prove themselves – and are less likely to take life’s challenges personally.

People with a healthy self-esteem are less likely to be shaken by external opinions. They trust their own inner strength, even when things get difficult. This makes them more adaptable, clearer – and often braver.

This becomes particularly clear when dealing with uncertainty. While people with low self-esteem perceive uncertainty as a threat – something to be avoided if possible – others can say:

“I don’t know (yet), but I can figure it out.”

This attitude strengthens one’s own effectiveness and reduces the fear of mistakes or perceived inadequacy. And this is exactly what makes the difference in the long term – in both your personal and professional life.

Conflicts also lose their horror. They are no longer immediately interpreted as a personal attack, but can be seen as an opportunity for development. This does not mean condoning everything – but the reaction is not reflexively based on hurt feelings, but on inner stability.

A strengthened self-esteem makes it possible to remain present in difficult situations, to set yourself apart – and still stay connected. With yourself and with others.

Why old patterns are so stubborn

Even if we know better – sometimes we still slip back into old patterns. We criticize ourselves, doubt ourselves or sabotage ourselves. The reason is often not a lack of willpower, but the interaction between our brain and old experiences.

Our brain loves routines. It stores what it has learned once – especially in emotionally charged situations – and automatically recalls it at similar moments. This automatic reaction takes place in the limbic system, the so-called “automaton”. This is where everything we have internalized over the course of our lives is stored – including obstructive beliefs and convictions.

In contrast, conscious thinking, which takes place in the prefrontal cortex – the “diplomat” – has a hard time. It loses influence, especially in stressful or emotionally stressful moments. And even more serious: the “primate”, the oldest part of our brain, reacts to (perceived) danger with flight, fight or freeze – even if there is no objective threat.

At such moments, we do not act consciously. We follow old tracks without realizing it. As a result, new insights may have reached our minds – but they are not anchored in our emotions. And this is precisely why just talking is often not enough.

Because the underlying beliefs are stored physically – and cannot simply be “thought away”. In order to bring about lasting change, we need methods that involve the body, the emotional experience and the mind in equal measure.

New paths to change – how PEP releases old patterns

Some inner blockages cannot simply be “thought away”. Even if we know that a belief such as “I’m not good enough” is irrational, it often remains deeply rooted in us – especially if our nervous system links old experiences to it. In such moments, talking alone often doesn’t help. A different, more direct approach is needed: a combination of cognitive insight, emotional experience and physical experience.

This is precisely where PEP – process and embodiment-focused psychology – comes in. This method combines psychological insights with body-based exercises, making profound change possible.

An approach that combines mind and body

PEP was developed by Dr. Michael Bohne and is aimed at people who want to release emotional blockages, work on self-esteem issues or change obstructive thought and behavior patterns. At its heart is the conviction that our inner experience is not only accessible through the mind – but through the connection of all levels: Thinking, feeling, sensing, acting.

Especially with stubborn inner patterns, it is not enough to “say something positive”. If the emotional charge from old experiences is still active, the new thinking remains superficial – it doesn’t feel real. The body continues to react with tension, withdrawal or inner resistance.

Tapping – access to the nervous system

A central element of PEP is tapping techniques in which certain acupuncture points on the body (e.g. face, chest, hands) are gently tapped on – while at the same time stressful thoughts or emotions are named. This method allows the nervous system to regulate itself. Stress reactions can dissolve and the system calms down. Old emotional charges lose their intensity.

This often has a noticeable effect: thoughts that previously weighed heavily on the chest appear lighter. The view widens. New perspectives become accessible. And often there is even a moment of inner peace or surprising clarity.

Work with your inner critic – not against it

Many self-esteem problems are linked to inner convictions that we learned early on – for example: “I’m too slow”, “I can’t make mistakes”, “I’m not good enough”. These sentences work in the background like old soundtracks. Often unconsciously, but extremely effective.

PEP invites you not to fight these beliefs, but to be mindful of them – and to put them into a new, constructive context. Instead of “I’m too slow”, this could become: “I make time for quality.” The former weakness is transformed into a resource – through reframing.

However, this reformulation only works if it can also be felt. And this is exactly what the combination of bodywork, tapping and language makes possible.

The big five self-esteem robbers – and how to transform them

PEP works with a structured approach to the most common self-esteem robbers – including

• Self-blame: persistent inner criticism or the feeling of never being enough.
• Blaming others: Blaming others who continue to have power over your own emotional state.
• Expectations: Unprocessed expectations of other people from which one has not yet internally detached.
• Regression (“inner shrinking”) : Situations in which you feel smaller, more helpless or more dependent than you actually are.
• Loyalties: Unconscious attachments to people who have not been allowed to be successful, healthy or happy themselves – often accompanied by a fear of jeopardizing a relationship or disappointing someone through your own development.

These Big Five solution blockages can occur individually or in combination in relation to an issue. Sometimes just one of them is enough to noticeably prevent us from solving a problem or dealing with a situation constructively. In PEP work, these inner blockages are not simply ignored, but carefully identified and their original function acknowledged. They often had a protective function – but today they hinder us in our development. The aim is to transform these obstructive patterns into beneficial, supportive beliefs – clearly, powerfully and sustainably.

A direct line to inner strength

A special aspect of PEP is working with the body: tapping is not a placebo technique, but a way of helping myself and having a direct effect on the autonomic nervous system. It sends a clear signal to the body: You are safe. You can let go. And you can feel differently. At the same time, new, empowering self-images are built up – not in the sense of “positive thinking”, but as realistic, coherent and deeply anchored perspectives. Through this intensive work, new, empowering beliefs are established. They are regularly recalled over a period of several weeks so that a new inner habit can develop – one that strengthens the connection to oneself, makes decisions easier and promotes self-regulation.

PEP has long been used in coaching, therapy and also in basic psychosomatic care – for anxiety, self-doubt, excessive demands, but also in the areas of stress management, personality development and performance enhancement. Wherever people want to begin to realign themselves – not only cognitively, but also emotionally and physically.

Because this is precisely the key to sustainable change: when thoughts, feelings and physical sensations point in a new direction – and a new inner experience becomes possible.

Conclusion: consciously shaping self-worth – in connection with head, heart and body

Healthy self-worth is not something we take for granted – but it is a powerful resource that influences our entire life. It determines how we deal with challenges, how we form relationships and how we perceive ourselves in the world. And yet it is often fragile, shaped by old imprints, automated thoughts and emotional patterns that unconsciously guide us.

Mindfulness, self-reflection and the willingness to explore new paths are crucial steps in deepening our contact with ourselves. The PEP method impressively demonstrates how change is possible: Through the mind and the integration of body, emotion and spirit.

Those who meet themselves again with goodwill, recognize and transform old self-esteem robbers, create space for new strength, clarity and vitality. And with every step, the mindful connection to the person we truly are grows – courageous, lovable, unique.

A strong self-esteem does not need to be perfect. It only needs an honest yes to oneself.